Brentfudd FC

Saved from extinction by our very own ex-hero manager Dave “Wodge” Webb only a few years ago, (you may hear the grateful B’s fans chanting his name), Brentfudd thought that they may have to play at Woking in order to fulfill their fixtures for a while, while then-owner Ronnie Limp-noades tried to flog their ground, the famous Gonad Park.

This is a sad state of affairs for the Fudd, whose illustrious history singles them out as; “The most successful club what can be seen from the elevated section of the M4 although no-one knows whose ground it is even when told”.

Gonad Park, with a pub on each corner, is a homely if ramshackle stadium, and being on the flight path for Heathrow Airport, pioneered roof advertising which could be seen from the air.

This caused much controversy in 1975 when an advert by local funeral directors Allan, Armpit, Rogers, Grunt and Holler had twenty foot high letters proclaiming “AARGH you’re all going to die!”

Formed in 1890 from the Gunnerbuggersbury Park Home for Destitutes, the “Gunners” had to change their name in 1912 to avoid a direct assault from Woolwich Arsenal.

Nicknamed the “B’s” Because most of the players were without known parents, errr… fathers displaced if you know what I mean, sort of “Daddies away working”, illegitimate kind of thing, well, OK then, THEY WERE ALL BASTARDS. In the dictionary definition sense of course.

Most successful in the 1920’s, when local sailor Seaman Staines bankrolled the club like old Limp-noades tried, the B’s have been less than fortunate since with only a promotion from Division Three in 2000 to show for it.

Relegation to Div 4 in 2007 ( after which ex-manager and complete failure Gobbo Allen managed to blag a job in the Championship) followed by a dismal season 2007-08 means the only way is .....