Burnitt

Burnitt having blown their membership of the Football League after only being there for about a fortnight, most fans can be forgiven for not realising that Barnitt Football Club have been in existence for over 100 years in various guises, having been founder members of North Finst Amateur Men’s Football and Table Tennis Division Eight, way back in 1895..

Formed from navvies and tarmacadam layers made reluctant from buiding Tottenham Hale station, under the leadership of Sir Rodney Effinghell-Smythe, millionaire chicken magnate and friend of Oscar Wilde’s father Percy, Burnitt and Enfield Sports Club made rapid headway up the divisions until interrupted by the Great War. Re-started in 1919 as Burnitt and Cockfosters Cricket and Football Club, more progress was made until Sir Rodney died in 1938 from syphilis.

Sir Rodney’s only son the effeminate Hugh Effinghell took over the reins and after WW2 took the re-named Bushey Burnet Bush Hill Botany Bay and Boreham Ballet and Boating Club to the brink of Division 3 (South) in 1954 before financial irregularites made him flee the country.

Years of stagnation followed untill the arrival of flamboyant chairman Stan Flashgit in 1979, and now re-re-re-named Burnitt FC made it into Division Four of the Football League in 1983 when four rival teams mysteriously went bankrupt in the last days of the season.

Mercurial manager Barry (Fat Judas Bar-steward) Mcfly took the team to the dizzy heights of twelth in 1993 before the rotund git had a panic attack and resigned.

Bugger all’s happened since.