Colchestaaargh Ewenightly

Colchestaaargh.

Capital of the British Roman Empire, centre of civilisation in England from a time before the birth of Jesus Christ.

Imagine the inter-twining of cultures, the acceptance of the Roman ways and integration of the population, Romano-British citizens living in peaceful co-existence with the Essex tribes.

The inhabitants of Colchestaaargh ( then known as Colostomenium) were widely regarded as the most intelligent and sophisticated in the whole kingdom.

So what happened to fuck it up?

Boudicca that’s who.

It was a home game for the Centurion XI, versus Iceni Town from out east, at Slayer Road Coliseum.

The Roman captain had slagged off the Iceni, a bad move. Because they turned up with 50,000 fans and trashed the place. In fact they slaughtered every living thing and burned the town to the ground, incurring a 3 match ban from the Roman FA.

The modern football club was formed as a successor to Colchestaaargh Town, who themselves had been formed from Colchestaaargh Village, formerly Colchestaaargh Hamlet, previously Colchestaaargh Hermit in a Cave.

They joined League Div 3 South in 1950, and half a century later have… er… let’s see, umm…… been on telly a couple of times. Boudicca had the right idea.

click for official site for Essex No1 side