Mickle-Mackle-Muckle'sfield

Formed by Alf Muckle in 1938, Muckle’sfield have been the laughing stock of Cheshire for nigh on 65 years.

Alf “Show-us-yer-arse” Muckle was a failed variety performer from Buxton who was sacked in disgrace from Leeds Variety Hall after his “Ukulele up my backside while singing like George Formby” act went disastrously wrong in front of the Lord Mayor.

He started a football team consisting of failed stilt-walkers, midgets and Fat-ladies who started playing friendly matches at Port Shrigley in 1935.

After the disbanding of Congleton Corinthians, when all the players decided to go and watch Manchester United instead, (NO CHANGE THERE THEN) Alf started up Muckle’sfield Town as members of Knutsford and District Flower-arranging And Football League in 1938.

Steady progress was made until Alf died of varnish poisoning in 1960. Muckle’sfield carried on in the Peak Park League until a dramatic change of fortune in 1985.

While on tour in South Yemen, Muckle’sfield were spotted by a football mad member of the royal family, Sheik Ah Stikkat. He immediately bank-rolled the club, and they were champions in two years, and on the brink of full League status by 1993.

The stadium was much improved, with one stand resembling Bedouin tents, in which the Sheik had stipulated only Virgins were allowed to sit, hence no local women ever sat there.

Promotion was finally achieved in 1995, under the guidance of Irish star Sammy Mackle’sfield.

The promotion again, then relegation, then Sammy left, along with the Sheik. Back to the Conference lads.

In 2001 some building work was finally done at the ground, after the Mess Rose field was designated as a possible UFO landing stage.

Hence new nickname, THE JODRELL BANKERS.