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    • Get ready for rock and roll in the National League play-offs
      Meadow Lane is set to rock to another five-figure attendance tomorrow night as Grimsby defend their title in the unofficial Nottingham Song Contest. The post Get ready for rock and roll in the National League play-offs appeared first on The Non-League Football Paper.
    • Cook: It’s a clean start for the Spireites
      CHESTERFIELD manager Paul Cook knows to expect ‘a very competitive game’ against FC Halifax Town – but is backing the Spireites’ fanbase to help get them over the line. The post Cook: It’s a clean start for the Spireites appeared first on The Non-League Football Paper.
    • Dorking Wanderers 3-2 Ebbsfleet United: Magic Wands conjure up another piece of history
      Marc White labelled Dorking Wanderers’ dramatic promotion victory over Ebbsfleet United as ‘unbelievable’ after an astonishing late twist saved his side from play-off heartache. The post Dorking Wanderers 3-2 Ebbsfleet United: Magic Wands conjure up another piece of history appeared first on The Non-League Football Paper.
    • Parky will emulate ideologies of Klopp
      Phil Parkinson reckons Liverpool-style leadership can help block out the hype around the fortnight that will shape Wrexham’s destiny. The post Parky will emulate ideologies of Klopp appeared first on The Non-League Football Paper.
    • Ravens can trust Woody to discover the Wembley way
      Andy Woodman, whose Bromley side face Wrexham in the FA Trophy final today, is no stranger to Wembley. The post Ravens can trust Woody to discover the Wembley way appeared first on The Non-League Football Paper.
  • RSS The Non League Football Paper

    • Get ready for rock and roll in the National League play-offs
      Meadow Lane is set to rock to another five-figure attendance tomorrow night as Grimsby defend their title in the unofficial Nottingham Song Contest. The post Get ready for rock and roll in the National League play-offs appeared first on The Non-League Football Paper.
    • Cook: It’s a clean start for the Spireites
      CHESTERFIELD manager Paul Cook knows to expect ‘a very competitive game’ against FC Halifax Town – but is backing the Spireites’ fanbase to help get them over the line. The post Cook: It’s a clean start for the Spireites appeared first on The Non-League Football Paper.
    • Dorking Wanderers 3-2 Ebbsfleet United: Magic Wands conjure up another piece of history
      Marc White labelled Dorking Wanderers’ dramatic promotion victory over Ebbsfleet United as ‘unbelievable’ after an astonishing late twist saved his side from play-off heartache. The post Dorking Wanderers 3-2 Ebbsfleet United: Magic Wands conjure up another piece of history appeared first on The Non-League Football Paper.
    • Parky will emulate ideologies of Klopp
      Phil Parkinson reckons Liverpool-style leadership can help block out the hype around the fortnight that will shape Wrexham’s destiny. The post Parky will emulate ideologies of Klopp appeared first on The Non-League Football Paper.
    • Ravens can trust Woody to discover the Wembley way
      Andy Woodman, whose Bromley side face Wrexham in the FA Trophy final today, is no stranger to Wembley. The post Ravens can trust Woody to discover the Wembley way appeared first on The Non-League Football Paper.

Newcastle United FC 

Newkhazi United Football Club is the football club just before Scotland.
Saint Geordie arrived on the shores of Newcarsie around 14BC arriving from the north without a shirt on eating a deep-fried Mars bar.
The club was founded in 1892 by the merger of pub team Newt and Shoot who user to play at Byker Grove and Khazi Pastry United who played behind the Greggs factory. They have played  home games at St Geordies Park ever since. The St Geordie’s ground was developed to have toilets in the mid-1990s and now thankfully has a capacity for 1000 fans to take a dump at the same time. The club has been a member of the Paidtomuch League for all but two years of the competition’s history. The club has been owned by Micky Cashless since 2007, succeeding long term chairman and owner Sir Lou Downstairs.
The club were highly successful in the Premier League in the 1990s and early 2000s, but have been mostly struggling since the 2006–07 season, and were flushed down the pan in 2009 and 2016.
They have a fierce local rivalry with Plumberland and the two clubs have engaged in the Toilet war derby since 1898. Nicknamed the Whoateallthepies due to there heritage in the pastry industry and annual pie eating and singing contest the team can also be referred to as the Tune Army and the Geordies.
The club’s traditional kit colours are black and white striped shirts, black shorts and black socks. This was influenced by Buster Keaton black and white movies in the 1920’s. Their traditional crest takes elements of two industries that joined them and features a porcelain bowls and a Meat pie.
Newkhazi owner Micke Cashless pioneered the wearing of a kit which is actually a giant bar-code. This enables plod to scan the crowd, predict any pie shop overcrowding and prevent any pie-related incidents.

 

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